Do you believe in intuition? Sometimes it can be hard to ignore a strong gut feeling about someone, especially if that someone is the person with whom we share a loving relationship. Believing that someone you love so much could be lying to you or even cheating can be absolutely devastating. But even though you trust your instincts, you need to gather some evidence before going through with an accusation. While every relationship is different, some common red flags in a relationship can be huge signs your partner is cheating on or lying to you.
If deep down you can certainly feel that something is off, try and find out if you are right. We gathered a list of 12 behaviors that are common telltale signs someone is keeping a secret. We hope it helps!
12. They are being too nice
While your partner is expected to treat you right, it is probably not normal for them to bring you flowers and surprise you every single day, is it? Grand gestures are welcomed and appreciated – everyone enjoys feeling loved and spoiled. But if you have a strong feeling that these gestures are being used to cover for something bad… maybe you should start paying attention to other things that might have changed. Is it an attempt to get you off the trail?
11. They won’t let you near their phone
Any relationship that doesn’t respect privacy boundaries is a toxic relationship, period. And while you shouldn’t be snooping around on your partner’s phone, the fact that they might become nervous every single time you get near their device can mean something. While some secrets in a relationship are justified, your partner shouldn’t have anything on their phone that you simply cannot see, right? If their cellphone habits have changed recently and they have become super secretive about their phone, ask them why. If they get defensive instead of offering a reasonable explanation, this probably means they are hiding something, and it can be one of the strongest signs your partner is cheating on you.
10. They overact when you question them
How to know if your partner is cheating? Easy, ask them. Not directly, of course, especially if you don’t have any proof that they might be doing it. But ask them simple questions that point towards your suspicion and stand by to see how they react. Unfortunately, infidelity in a relationship is a pretty common thing. But even cheaters are aware of their hurtful deeds. And if they see you are getting closer and closer to their secrets, they will start to get nervous. The fear and anxiety can lead them to overreact to even the smallest questions, and that’s how you get them.
9. They try to turn the tables
While some people who cheat experience extreme feelings of guilt, others can be deliberately manipulative and try to gaslight you. Cheaters will try and project their guilt into their partner. If you ask to see their phone, for example, they might call you crazy and intrusive. They will do everything in their power to put the blame on you – like you are the one causing this crisis and trying to get into a fight. This, too, is a form of abuse, and if they manage to manipulate you over an extended period of time, you might even start to doubt your sanity. Be careful with manipulators – being in this type of toxic relationship can lead to mental health problems, like anxiety and depression. Watch out for this sort of manipulative behavior.
8. They seem distant
Do you know that weird feeling when you are sharing a bed with someone but that someone feels so far away emotionally that it’s like they are not even there? While emotional distance might not be a sign your partner is cheating on you, it can mean that they are keeping secrets to themselves because they don’t want to burden you. It’s up to you to dig out these secrets. Always try to maintain an open line of communication with your partner and encourage them to share whatever it is that’s bothering them.
7. Their schedule is weird
Imagine this scenario: you have been in a relationship for a serious amount of time now. You know their routine, their work schedule, and you also know that there haven’t been any major changes to their life lately. However, their schedule, which used to be pretty steady, is now changing. They are leaving for work earlier or they are coming home late. Why? Again, while they might not be cheating on you, the fact that they keep changing their routine without explaining why could mean they are indeed keeping a secret from you.
6. You keep uncovering lies
If there is one thing that is vital to a relationship, it’s trust. And it’s hard to trust someone if you keep catching them in seemingly irrelevant lies that in the end might add up to something big. Something simple, like they text you saying they ate at their desk and then later at home they say they went out to a restaurant with friends. You see? It doesn’t add up. Why can’t they “remember” where they ate? Hiding a secret is not an e easy job and being deceptive can be tiring. As a result, the truth might slip during the simplest conversations. Has this happened to you?
5. They keep cutting you out
Being in a relationship is not the same as having a conjoined twin – you don’t have to do every single thing together. However, if you used to go to parties together, or have dinner with their friends every once in a while, and all of a sudden you are not included in those plans anymore… that’s something to be worried about. Why don’t they want your company all of a sudden? What are they keeping from you?
4. Their body language has changed
If you are in a serious relationship, you might be able to read into your partner pretty well by now, right? So, you will have no problem with noticing changes in their body language. Do they avoid eye contact? Do they seem jittery and nervous whenever you two are alone? If you trust your instincts and they keep telling you something is wrong, look for body language signs that tell you your partner is hiding something.
3. They don’t get into details
You used to share everything with each other, but now every time you ask them something, all they give you is a vague answer. If they are doing something and they don’t want you to know, they will try to keep any conversation about their day as short as possible. This can even extend to other things, like making future plans. A cheater will avoid talking about the future at all costs, so this can be another sign they are being unfaithful.
2. They stay late at work
This is the oldest lie in the book, but it doesn’t seem to get out of style, does it? “Honey, I need to work”. Ok, everyone does. But are they staying late every single day of the week? Maybe even making excuses to “go to the office” during the weekend? Keep an eye out, especially if their work schedule used to be pretty steady, and now it’s this crazy overtime “nightmare”.
1. They are mean to you
Guilt can eat you up. If your partner is hiding something from you or even being unfaithful, chances are that they will try to keep a certain distance from you. It can be hard to look at someone who loves you in the eye when you know you are lying to them. As a result, they can become cold and distant to try and push you away. Remember, this is not your fault – do not allow them to project their guilt onto you and manipulate you.