When it comes to relationships, there’s no right or wrong. Each person defines their limits, their do’s and don’ts, and each person loves who they want to love and how they want to love them.
But the truth is, sometimes we rush into a romantic relationship too fast, and then it ends up not working out, leaving both people damaged with severe trust issues.
We can’t tell you how to feel about someone or dictate how things turn out, but what we can do, is help you figure out how to know if you’re not ready for a relationship.
Keep reading to find out if you relate to any of these signs you’re not ready for a serious relationship!
1. You Just Got Out Of A Serious Relationship
There’s no doubt that jumping from relationship to relationship is pretty self-damaging, even if you don’t realize it right away, you’ll definitely feel the consequences in the near future. Normally this is called a rebound relationship, which is a relationship you get into with the main reason being getting over an ex. You might say it’s different and you actually care for this new person, however, having no time or little time between relationships is a recipe for disaster. You have to grief and go through all that process of sadness and loneliness; after all, you just lost someone important to you. And even though it might be hard, in the end, you’ll come out a stronger person. If you neglect your feelings and jump straight away to another relationship, you’ll be entering this new relationship with a lot of emotional baggage that will come out sooner or later. It’s best to deal with these emotions right away and alone!
2. You’re Feeling Lonely
This might be the number one problem we face in modern dating: deciding to date someone because we’re feeling bored or lonely. It starts with one boring night on the couch, with nothing interesting playing on the tv and nothing else to do, so what do we do? We download a dating app, or start talking to that person we find cute on social media, and often start relationships based on what? Boredom. We know that sometimes it can be hard seeing all the couples on the street and all the romantic movies that are playing on the tv, and that, unconsciously, our minds tell us to do the same. However, trick your mind and try to combat your loneliness with a dinner with your close friends or other friends you don’t see as much and would like to see again, join a team sport where you can meet new people.
If you’re shy or prefer being by yourself, do other activities where you can take your mind of things, whether that is going for a jog while listening to music or deciding to write a novel. If you feel that you’re in a dark place, the last thing you want to do is date someone. The relationship won’t last anyway since the reason you’re with that person is just for the company. That’s not fair for the other person, and you’ll feel bad overtime. It’s just not worth it.
3. You Are Suffering From Peer Pressure
You might be in a complicated situation where all your friends are dating, and so you end up alone quite a few times. And we get it! It sucks being apart from the group or feeling “behind” in comparison to your friends, but if they are your real friends they won’t care, and they won’t forget about you in the corner of the table, they’ll make an effort to include you and be there for you. If you have friends or a specific friend who’s the one pressuring the dating idea onto you, know that attitude reveals an extreme lack of maturity on their side, so do yourself a favor and remove that toxic person from your life! Each of us is different, and every person goes through things on their own timeline, so don’t put unnecessary pressure on yourself to do these things that maybe you’re just not ready to do, and that’s fine.
4. You Don’t See Yourself Making Any Life Changes
A relationship means commitment, and possible changes, not only on your daily routine but also your entire life will change, and that usually feels good, unless you’re not in a relationship for the right reasons. When a new relationship starts, it all seems very easy. It’s still the beginning, so you won’t see immediately how this would change your life. But suddenly you don’t have so much free time for your friends or yourself. This way, you find yourself obliged to extra time, compromise, and so on. Normally, a person who’s in love is excited to change their habits. They are always willing to change and compromise for the other person. However, if for some reason you feel like you won’t be able to do that, it’s either because you’re emotionally unavailable or it’s just not the right time for you to get into a long-term relationship.
5. You Don’t Have Self-Confidence
How do you expect others to love you if you don’t love yourself? You probably heard this sentence before, and even though it always made sense, it is still not completely true. A partner can help you see your beauty and work on your self-esteem, but that’s not the reason why you should get a boyfriend. Self-acceptance and confidence are very important for our mental health. It is also a very attractive trace that many men have admitted to like in their partners. You don’t have to be a top model or drop-dead gorgeous to be confident. But the first key to being confident is to like and accept who you are.
Accept that you’ll never look like those Instagram models or a gorgeous Hollywood actress but also accept the fact that you are beautiful in your own unique way. Now that you’re aware of all these signs keep in mind that a healthy relationship is a relationship that starts the normal way, with two people getting to know each other and eventually falling in love. So if you can relate to one of these signs, then it’s most likely you shouldn’t be in a relationship at the moment. Try to focus on yourself for now, and when the right person appears, you’ll be ready!