Being in a relationship with a toxic partner who constantly blames you for everything is not easy. Most of the time, this indicates that you’re in an unhealthy relationship that needs to be fixed as soon as possible before things get really ugly.
But sometimes your partner could have a reason as to why they’re behaving in such a way.
However, does your relationship have to end because of it? Probably not.
We’re here to help you figure out why this happens and how you can fix these problems in the best way possible.
So, what should you do if your partner blames you all the time? Keep reading to get your answers!
1. Reflect on your flaws
There is nothing like looking in the mirror and asking yourself, “Am I responsible for this?” “Did I do something wrong?” And truly dig deep in your mind and try to find an answer for your partner’s behavior.
At the end of the day, it’s normal to mess up. We’re humans, we forget stuff, we don’t always have the best attitudes, and we say a lot of things we don’t mean.
This is why the first step to solve any relationship problems is to acknowledge what we did wrong in the past and present and apologize for it.
Maybe you forgot to wash the dishes last night, or maybe you haven’t been paying attention to your partner lately.
Apologize for your actions and be humble about it, if your partner truly loves you, they’ll eventually accept the apology and move on from it.
2. Know your limits
Continuing to be in a toxic relationship can get pretty self-damaging over time and leave you with some severe scars like self-doubt, low self-esteem, and so on.
If you notice that your partner blaming you has become a pattern, maybe you should pull the emergency brakes and get away from some time. You could be leaving for a couple of minutes, hours, or weeks.
Give the other person the necessary amount of time to reflect on their behavior as well.
And if you truly feel like you’re not being respected and that your partner is constantly projecting negative feelings towards you, then the best thing to do is step aside, but make sure they know why you’re leaving.
This way, you’ll be allowing the other person to also think about what they did wrong and grow from it, so it doesn’t happen again.
Most of the time, people only wake up when they have a reality check, it might be a hard thing to do, but leaving can sometimes be your only option.
3. Try to understand what’s going on with your partner
By the form your partner speaks to you and blames you, you might assume their problem has to do with you, but that’s not always the case.
A lot of times, we end up discharging and projecting our anger from work into our family and friends. It’s not the right thing to do, but it happens.
Let’s say your partner had a tough day at work; once they get home, they give you an attitude, or they seem to be complaining about everything that you’re doing.
In your perspective, your partner is being mean, but in their perspective, they had an awful day that you don’t even know about.
Try establishing healthy communication with your partner. Figure out what’s going on behind the scenes, with their family, work, and so on.
It’s easy to forget that the other person also has a life, objectives, and experiences outside the relationship bubble. It’s up to you to break that bubble and inform yourself about what’s going on outside.
4. Speak up about how you feel
If your partner laches on to manipulative behavior, there’s no turning back.
This is why you should always keep your head up and never take the blame for something you didn’t do or isn’t your fault.
A toxic person starts blaming and making others feel guilty. If you don’t cut off this type of behavior right away, they’ll feel like they can keep doing this to you, which will only evolve into a big messy, and unhealthy relationship.
Through healthy communication, you should be able to make your partner see your point of view. Tell them about how you’ve been feeling put down and sad about their words and attitudes.
If they change and acknowledge your feelings good, if not, then maybe it’s time to break up.
5. Ask directly what the problem is
One of the biggest mistakes in relationship arguments is ignoring the elephant in the room, and by elephant, we mean the actual issue.
How many times have you seen or experienced fights ending with “Ok fine” or “Whatever?”
Normally, most people don’t enjoy being told what to do or being confronted with the reality of things, which makes arguments end in a passive-aggressive tone. Of course, this isn’t healthy nor the best way on how to fix the issue.
Most of the time, people feel so mad or hurt that they don’t even realize what the problem is, and they choose to end the fight as quickly as possible so that they can move on.
Of course, this is a giant snowball of consequences in the making—all due to unclear communication and big egos.
Remember to always ask clearly about what the real problem is and avoid getting defensive about it. Understanding what’s going on is key to solve any issue a relationship might have.
Ultimately, you should be able to evaluate your relationship and how you feel about it. If there’s no respect, communication, or love, there’s not much to rebuild a healthy relationship.
But if your partner is going through a tough phase, then you should help them with it instead of making it worse by leaving or arguing with them.
As long as you have clear communication and respect each other, there’s no issue you can’t fix or problem you can’t solve, always remember that!