It’s probably time to stop and reconsider your priorities! While social connections are important and every one of us is expected to put some efforts into maintaining good relationships with people, it is crucial to know how to end negative relationships and when to stop making efforts.
If you start neglecting yourself because you’re busy thinking about others, you should back off and think. Here are the most common cases you need to be aware of so you’ll know when to start revising your priorities because you deserve better.
1. YOU CANNOT SAY NO
You should be alarmed when your regular to-do list includes another person’s tasks rather than your own. You are actually wasting your precious time by looking after, buying for, helping, or being consulted beyond what’s known to be reasonable.
Sadly, when you ask yourself what all the people you’re giving your time and energy to have done for you, you’ll probably never find an answer and you’ll just feel a bit of sorrow crawling down your heart.
The healthiest approach is to always prioritize your own tasks. If somebody starts pointing out how ungrateful and selfish you are, be sure that they’re trying to manipulate your feelings so you can keep saving (serving) them.
Don’t blindly and endlessly offer help to those who will take advantage of you. In brief, just say no!
2. YOU LOOK FOR APPROVAL
When you look for approval, it means doing things only to receive compliments and praise from your partner, family, friends, co-workers, or boss. If you’re always seeking approval from those who matter to you, you will never feel confident to make a decision or feel satisfied with your thoughts and actions.
The worst part is when you do get the approval and it makes you feel like a good girl/boy, but if you didn’t, you feel like you’ve made a mistake. Stop seeking approval and start believing that you are good and that you never really have to prove it to anyone.
Focus on achieving your own goals the way you see fit. Develop your skills, take care of your physical and mental health, find love, and let it find you too. Confidence will beat off your need for approval.
3. YOU SMOOTH THINGS OVER
If you prefer to stay quiet, patient, and accept whatever comes your way instead of arguing, struggling, and standing up for your rights, you should open your eyes on the fact that you’re living in an illusion.
This is not the right way to avoid conflicts and problems, this is a clear demonstration of your inability to assert your opinion, meaning you’ll always remain weak and people will use it against you.
You need to have your own opinion and stand up for it! You don’t need anyone to support you and you should stop hiding in the shadows of more confident and louder people around you. Dare to show who you really are. We all respect people who strongly stay true to their individuality.
4. YOU BLAME YOURSELF FOR OTHERS’ EMOTIONS
If you often find your self feeling guilty because others are unsatisfied, sad, offended, angry, or having any negative feelings, you should stop and tell yourself that you don’t have to apologize or feel sorry for something you’re not responsible for.
Never blame yourself for someone else’s expectations, problems, and feelings. If it’s not easy for you, then ask yourself what have that person done to fix their issue and why are they suffering and whining instead of doing something about it?
5. YOU DON’T SET LIMITS
Setting zero limits means that you’re always ready to do anything for everyone, all they need to do is ask! Also, if someone is struggling with an urgent issue, you’ll immediately give up all your tasks and responsibilities to fix their problems. You’re actually being unfair to yourself when you can neglect your own tasks but can’t refuse to help someone else do theirs.
Learn to tell people that you have other important things to do or places to go and that their task needs to wait until you’re free. No excuses! Keep in mind that you are always your one and only priority.
6. YOU DO THINGS YOU DON’T LIKE
Doing something you don’t like feels horrible, yet, you do it anyways. If you never decline requests to do someone else’s duties, be it your friends, relatives, or parents, your time will never be yours.
To create time for yourself and do the things you like, start by choosing one day when you only do what you want and stick to it, then, separate every other day into time for reading, doing housework, walking, dating, traveling, or simply relaxing.
Never ignore your priorities for someone else’s sake and remember that no one owes you anything. After all, you need to take care of yourself to be able to take care of other people (when it’s possible!)