What does it mean to be in love? Is it unconditionally loving someone else despite their flaws? Is it wanting to be with them every minute? Or is it something deeper that none of us have figured out yet?
Even though love is hard to describe, it’s very easy to tell if you’re in or have been in a relationship based on love or purely based on obsession or lust.
Here we give you the top 6 signs you were never in love with that person. By reading this, we believe you’ll get closure about your old relationships while getting to know your present one.
1. You Are Doubtful
Whenever you feel doubt about a certain person, whether they are the right choice for you or seeing yourself with them long-term, then that’s a big red flag.
One of the signs of true love is feeling in your gut that you have found the one for you. You feel filled with so many positive feelings that you completely get rid of any doubts and fears. Of course, this doesn’t mean you can’t have doubts in the future.
Relationship stress can make certain questions arise throughout time. But if you are not sure about your partner and your heart doesn’t light up every time you see them, then maybe they are not the right person for you.
2. You Never Met Your Partner’s Family
When in a serious relationship, it’s normal to eventually meet your partner’s family and friends. But sometimes you might find yourself in a romantic relationship where you still haven’t met anyone from your partner’s side, and that doesn’t bother you at all.
This is where you notice the difference between being in love or just liking someone.
If you’re with someone for lust, you couldn’t care less about meeting their family or friends, but when you truly love someone, you want to know everything about them, which means meeting their family should be something super important to you.
3. You’re Just In It For The Challenge
If you want someone just because you think they’re hard to get or out of your league and just want a little game to entertain you, then that’s a pretty big red flag that you’re getting into a toxic relationship.
It might sound fun to try to win someone over just because, but that’s not fair to the other person.
It’s like you’re chasing the idea of someone, but once you get them, the adrenaline drops, so do the excitement levels, and then, you realize you don’t even like the person you were trying to get with.
4. You Care About Superficial Things
If you’re with someone just because they’re good looking, have money, or simply because they give you the attention you need, then you’re probably not in love with the other person whatsoever.
You might be in love with this person’s idea and what they can give you, but in reality, you don’t feel the butterflies or the attraction on a daily basis, which is one of the main relationship problems.
Many relationships end because the attraction fades, but in a strong relationship, this is one of your last concerns. You’re so blind with love that you don’t care if your partner gains 100 pounds or gets fired from their job because you know you’d love them the same.
5. The Relationship Is Filled With Negative Emotions
If your relationship consisted of yelling, fighting, and hurting each other, you were not in a healthy, happy relationship, which means you probably were never in love with the other person. Neither were they!
The most effective way to know if you’re in love is if you feel like positive emotions are bigger than the negative ones. Of course, no relationship is perfect, and conflict will always exist, but if two people are in love, then it should be a priority to minimize these conflicts.
6. You’re Way Too Different
Yes, opposites do attract, and even though falling in love might be possible for opposites, maintaining a healthy, stable relationship isn’t.
If two people aren’t on the same page when it comes to their future goals, then that’s enough reason to end any relationship.
One thing is to have different tastes or personalities, but what if one of you really wants to become a parent and build a family while the other simply doesn’t want kids and prefers to travel the world?
Of course, traveling the world and having kids can be possible, but if you don’t see eye-to-eye on important life decisions, what possible future can you have together?
7. You Feel Like You Would Be Fine Without Them
A good indicator that you’re falling out of love or have never been in love with someone is if you do this mental exercise of imagining your life without that person, and the reality of it seems just fine, or it doesn’t bother you much.
Of course, we can all live by ourselves, and we should be able to be independent while in a relationship, but when you’re in love, you don’t even want to imagine a life without the other person.
It just breaks your heart to think about it! So if you feel like the other person being there with you or not is the same, then that’s a sign you don’t really love that person.
You should learn that a long term relationship does not mean love. You may like someone and enjoy their company and deeply care for them, but that doesn’t mean you’re in love with them.
Some people are meant to enter our lives and teach us something valuable about life and ourselves. So instead of looking at your past relationships in a negative way, think that they happened for a reason, and because of them, you’re much closer to finding true love!