Sometimes we’re living an unhealthy relationship without even noticing it.
From communication problems to abusive behavior, there are a lot of reasons why relationships might fail. While most of them can be avoided by behavior changes, others are impossible to change.
If this article caught your attention, it might be because you’re feeling doubtful about your current relationship, but the real question is, should you be doubtful or not?
Here we give you 6 signs that you and your partner are not meant for a long-lasting relationship.
Infidelity in a relationship is one of the top causes of a breakup, and it’s pretty clear why that is! When your partner is cheating, it doesn’t just cause anger or sadness, it causes trust issues, which ultimately ends the relationship. Some people can forgive and forget, others simply cannot, and both are ok. After all, the cheater is the one in the wrong, not you. If you have been cheated on or suspect that might be happening, do not be afraid to confront your partner. Being in a relationship with an unfaithful person is never good for anyone’s mental health and happiness. Feeling the need to cheat is also a huge red flag that means you don’t really care for your partner.
5. You’re trying to save your partner from their past
This is a relationship problem that you might also be guilty of. It’s normal that sometimes one of you tries to be the “saver” in the relationship. Take this scenario, your partner has been deeply scarred from their previous relationship, which they use as an excuse for their bad attitudes and behaviors, and you try to help and support them instead of making them take accountability for it. Everyone is a little bit guilty of doing this at the beginning of every relationship, but after a while, it gets frustrating. Nobody wants to be the “saver” without having someone to count on to save you. A healthy relationship must have two people who save and help each other. So if you feel like you’re being more of a psychologist or babysitter rather than a girlfriend/boyfriend, then maybe that’s a sign you should take a few steps back and re-evaluate the whole relationship.
4. You don’t see eye to eye
Disagreeing on everyday things or agreeing to disagree is completely normal in any relationship. But when it comes to future plans, it’s important that both people in the relationship agree on a future together, whether it is building a family or traveling the world, both people need to have similar values and desires. A red flag that you don’t see eye to eye is if one person is constantly asking about future plans and the other is simply trying to “live the moment”. This can be bittersweet because even though it’s enough of a reason for a breakup, you never know what the future holds. Our goals and desires are constantly changing and maybe you don’t see eye to eye right now but who knows, maybe in the future, you will.
3. Bad communication
One of the most common relationship problems is a lack of communication or not knowing how to communicate at all. During our entire lives, we are fed with lies about what a successful, happy relationship should look like, one where the other person happens to magically know what’s on your mind and read your thoughts 24/7. In reality, this doesn’t happen, of course, which means that couples need to put the extra effort in order to have effective healthy communication within the relationship. This can be fixed; all you need to do is try your best to be an active listener and truly pay attention to your partner’s feelings. Keep in mind that your partner will only open up to you if you let them, so make them feel safe and help them trust you.
2. Lack of intimacy
Even though it’s normal for couples to lose the sexual side to their relationship once they get older, there’s no excuse for lack of intimacy. Intimacy is being close to one another, it’s a kiss on the cheek, an unexpected hug, or staying up until 2 am sharing thoughts with one another. It doesn’t matter if you’re in a new or long term relationship, intimacy is important, physical contact is important, and letting each other know you need their touch is also key for any relationship.
1. You don’t feel excited anymore
The honeymoon phase can trick everyone; It always goes smoothly. Everyone seems to be super in love and excited about a new life together, but once the honeymoon phase brushes off, you are left with doubts and thoughts you never had before. Suddenly, you don’t want to dress up to go on a date or run to your phone to tell them the exciting news. It’s like you’ve become numb to the feelings you had for this person, which can lead to unconsciously distancing yourself from them, which later causes relationship arguments and conflict. Know that even though this is a normal thing to happen, it’s not supposed to happen with someone that you actually love, so maybe this isn’t the right person for you! You need a lot of things to maintain a healthy relationship.
Intimacy, communication, and trust in a relationship are the main ingredients for success. If you happen to be in a toxic relationship but you don’t want to let go just yet, you should at least try to make it better. If you really love someone, you should want to try to make the relationship work, except that sometimes it’s just not meant to be and you have to accept it. Some people come to stay, others simply pass by and leave us with more knowledge of the world and ourselves. Accepting this is the first step to self-care and personal growth, so don’t be afraid to let your guards-down, yes you are going to get hurt, but you’ll also regain all your strength, and that’s what matters!