Infidelity usually brings nothing but doom upon relationships, yet in some cases, it may be the stimulant for positive change.
But really, can you repair a relationship after cheating? Experts answer, yes! And in this article, we’ll guide you through the most important steps of properly surviving infidelity.
We are aware of the damage infidelity can have on people who are involved in it, and we don’t underestimate the hurt and pain it causes. A study found that unfaithfulness in marriage is to blame for about 37% of divorces in the US!
Nevertheless, many couples stay together and choose to improve their relationship after one of them cheats on the other for various reasons. If you and your partner can relate to this and are willing to do what’s necessary so you can heal from an affair, you should be prepared for a long road ahead, yet rest assured that it can definitely be done.
6. Make Sure There Is Sincere Remorse
An adequate level of remorse is an essential step in healing from infidelity, so whoever has cheated needs to feel truly and deeply sorry. For a relationship to survive, there must be a great and sincere sense of remorse for the act of cheating and all its consequences.
In other words, surviving and healing from an affair is not a healthy option for your couple if you’re the one who cheated and aren’t feeling any true remorse about it, or if your partner has cheated on you and you aren’t feeling any sincere remorse from them.
There’s no surviving where there’s a lack of remorse!
5. Just Be Honest About Why The Affair Happened
Even though being honest is anything but easy and has a dominant role regarding whether or not your couple will be able to move forward, you and your partner should give it your best.
We all make poor choices at times, and it’s up to us to decide how that poor choice and/or symptom(s) can affect the future of our relationships. And this largely depends on the motivating factors that lead to the affair; these can include traditional gender roles, poor communication, and hidden unmet needs.
Infidelity can be deeply complicated mainly because there’s usually a lot of hidden factors as to why people cheat as well as how they find a way back together. So it is crucial to shed light on the timing of the breakdown and all the reasons why what happened happened.
Being open and completely honest about your feelings, fears, mistakes, impulses, and so on is going to be incredibly beneficial for your relationship in the long term.
However, repairing a relationship could be impossible when the one who cheated is pointing blame and/or isn’t being honest about why they’ve cheated. Keep in mind that phrases like ‘it just happened’ and ‘I am a man after all’ aren’t acceptable at all because they are neither clear nor reassuring.
To rebuild trust in a relationship, both sides need to be completely clear and honest or try couples’ therapy for professional guidance on how to heal from an affair.
4. Remove Any Possibilities For The Affair To Reoccur
Whether you’ve cheated or been cheated on, you should make sure that the affair is definitely and truly over.
Then, the one who cheated needs to start taking real physical steps to completely disconnect from the other person involved in the affair as well as establish solid boundaries to allow their partner to heal properly.
Those steps may include unfollowing/unfriending social media contacts, blocking cell numbers, deleting contact information, and verbally announcing the separation.
Of course, the disconnection isn’t always easy, especially when the affair is between two co-workers, and the no-contact approach is simply impossible. In this case, the solution is being transparent about any interactions.
3. Move Forward With Extreme Care And Honesty
Being cheated on is devastating and usually causes long-lasting or deeply-engraved damage. However, it is possible to move past it and repair your relationship, and to do so, you should put a lot of energy into addressing any lack of honesty.
Both sides need to keep in mind that lying is just another form of betrayal and will only do more harm to the relationship. So being brutally honest about the affair is crucial to move forward. More importantly, this transparency needs to continue for as long as it takes to build trust back up and begin healing.
Complete honesty can be humiliating and very uncomfortable. Still, if the couple wishes to rebuild trust and give a new breath to their relationship, then they should be ready to do it all.
2. Be Selective About Who You Open Up To
Sharing your partner’s betrayal across social media is a common coping mechanism that should better be avoided. People who were cheated on usually resort to this behavior to hurt their partner in a very public manner as well as to release the rage that’s eating them up inside.
However, there are healthier ways to deal with and heal from infidelity, and one of them is to talk to someone you trust about what you’re going through.
Remember that telling everyone around you can and will end up backfiring because the more people you tell, the more judgment and biased opinions you’ll get, exposing you to more pain and unnecessary drama, especially if you two decide to work through the cheating.
1. Consider Working With A Licensed Therapist
When your relationship receives a deadly strike from an affair, you’ll likely find it very difficult to decide what to do next or where to begin to keep your head together and try to mend your broken heart, especially if the endless conversations with your partner aren’t getting anywhere.
That’s when seeing a licensed therapist can come of great help and guidance.
The therapist acts as a neutral party that helps you identify and process the underlying issues within your relationship so you can gain a clear understanding, find compassion, and start moving forward.
Couples counseling is worth considering and can go a long way in helping you deal with your feelings and reach your relationship goals. After they had each worked with separate therapists.
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