Even though infidelity is a huge form of disrespect and can cause many trust issues or even result in a breakup, most people cheat because they feel like they need to. It may sound wrong, and it is, especially in monogamous relationships, but have you ever wondered what causes someone to cheat? After all, why do people cheat on people they love? How is it possible for a husband or a wife to cheat? Isn’t love meant to last forever? We’re here to answer all these questions while giving you some psychological facts about cheating and how to spot a cheater as well.
Let’s check out what are the main signs of a cheater.
1. They have a wish or desire for random sexual encounters
At some point, every couple has hidden desires or thinks about having and engaging in sexual activities with others. Most of these couples don’t do anything about it. After all, fantasy is just a fantasy, and it’s common for fantasies to take place in one’s head, even if they’re not with the person you’re with. However, some may feel the impulse to do something about it. So what can you do? If there’s a need or curiosity about being with someone else, why not do it together? The relationship and trust amongst many couples end up growing when they’re on the same page about doing unexpected things, so why not try it? If you don’t feel comfortable at all with this idea, your partner needs to respect your feelings, and if they don’t, then you’re just not meant to be.
2. They sense a lack of sexual intimacy in their relationship
Most people cheat because they’re not getting as physical as they wished in their current relationship. Of course, things should be discussed with your partner instead of running into the arms of another woman or man, but most of the time, people tend to avoid uncomfortable situations, especially people who are older and married. However, sex and intimacy are important aspects of any relationship, no matter how old it is. When one person feels neglected, unsatisfied, and ignored, they might turn to someone else, who makes them feel good in a sexual form.
3. Lack of emotional intimacy is also felt
Unlike common conceptions about why someone cheats, emotional stability also has a big part in it. One of the main infidelity signs is a lack of connection between you and your partner. If there’s no connection, sex is just sex; it loses its importance, making one of you chase that connection with someone else. After all, cheating is not just looking for sexual intercourse with another person; it’s also emotional cheating. Sharing a connection with someone else, telling each other’s secrets, or simply cuddling with them.
4. They’re looking for sexual and emotional validation
Everyone wants to feel appreciated, and most of the time, this validation tends to stop existing overtime in a long-term relationship. When you know someone for a long time, kids are involved, or work gains more importance, so it’s common that couples stop expressing their love for each other, physically and emotionally. We are not kids who need a pat on the back when they do something right, but a few kisses or hugs after a homemade dinner doesn’t hurt anyone. There are many types of infidelity, and the one that happens from lack of validation is the most common.
5. Seeking pure revenge
It’s not one of the main causes of an affair, but it still happens. Sometimes the desire to hurt or cause a reaction on the other person is so strong that people end up cheating for revenge. This is not a healthy way to solve any problems and make everything worse, but if you notice that your partner is not even trying to hide their affairs from you, then it’s a clear sign he is cheating on you. He might say he only did it because he loves you, but of course, that’s not an excuse for anything. To avoid this from happening, always try to make your relationship as healthy and respectful as possible, which goes both ways.
6. They’re falling in love with another person
Sexual intimacy is extremely important in every relationship, it’s what often makes someone cheat on their partners, and it’s what makes you fall in love with others. A lot of people end up falling for the person they cheat their partners with. This happens due to the closeness that a physical connection brings. Even if it starts casually, of just sex, it can sometimes grow in other ways. There’s no exact way to keep someone interested in you; after all, if the love fades away, there really is nothing you can do about it rather than accept it. But there are many ways for a long-term couple to keep the flame alive, like going on a date or a romantic dinner every single week or planning a spontaneous romantic getaway.
7. They don’t love you anymore
Sometimes nothing can be done to prevent this. Some things are just not meant to be. You may spend 1 or 10 years with someone, and it’s possible to stop loving them out of nowhere. Normally it’s not even related to someone new. It’s just that the relationship is not bringing them the happiness and satisfaction it once brought. Some subtle signs he is cheating are if your partner avoids being with you for a long time, they come home late, avoid having dinner with you, and don’t get in bed at the same time you do. They just generally do everything in their power to not have to look or communicate with you. There’s no exact way on how to know if he’s a cheater.
You should never make assumptions based on these signs unless you have evidence or he tells you, so never assume the worst. Nobody wants to be fooled or tricked, so our advice is to talk to your partner about your fears or suspicions. In terms of fixing it, you can try to connect with your partner every day, emotionally and physically, by making small gestures. Even if you’ve been together for so long, it doesn’t mean romance is dead. Communicating and keeping the flame burning will make your relationship survive throughout the years.