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7 Signs Your New Lover Might Not Be The One

Love stories. Everybody wants to live a good one.

Are you at the beginning of a relationship or about to jump into one? Although this is an incredible stage, full of new experiences and where every moment spent next to your lover seems to be unbearably pleasing, there are some details to watch out for. There are some frequent early signs of a bad relationship, that may indicate that your partner isn’t right for you. They are absolutely universal and shared by all types of couples: it doesn’t matter your age, gender, or sexual orientation. We’ll list you seven signs, and if you recognize one or multiple in your current relationship, then it might be better to nip it in the bud instead of committing yourself to a person who, after all, might not be “the one”.

1. Communication problems

As a relationship progresses, every couple creates their own way of communicating: loving expressions, private jokes, ways to communicate about feelings and discuss issues in a healthy manner, comfortable silences, etc. That’s how it should be. However, in the beginning, as you’re trying to adapt to each other’s personality, some communication problems may arise. That’s perfectly normal. It only becomes problematic if you’re unable to overcome those problems, as they can easily undermine your relationship and lead to its end. If you feel that the way you communicate as a couple is far from ideal and showing no signs of evolving, you might want to reevaluate your relationship.

2. Trust issues

If even after you feel that you know your partner thoroughly, you still have difficulties in trusting him, maybe it’s time to rethink everything. The same principle applies if it is the other way around, that is if your partner doesn’t trust you. A piece of good advice would be to work together to try to realize where all the insecurities that lead to trust issues come from so that, together, you can overcome them and keep your relationship as healthy as possible. As the saying goes: “trust is the foundation of any relationship”.

3. Control freak

This problem stems mainly from the previous. Trust issues are usually the reason why someone becomes controlling. No one is owned by anyone else, so there is no point in controlling every step taken. If your partner is some kind of control freak that asks you a thousand questions every time you go out by yourself, that’s definitely a sign you are in a relationship with the wrong person. A healthy relationship presupposes not only trust but also respect for the other person’s personal space and individual freedom.

4. Constant arguments

In the vast majority of cases, discussions are important to keep a relationship in a healthy state. The problem is if you start to notice a tendency in your better-half to turn every problem, however small, to an excuse to start a huge and aggressive argument. Apart from being a form of emotional detachment, these arguments can totally affect both the relationship and the lover’s mental health.

5. Different plans for the future

If you can picture yourself alongside your current partner for the rest of this life and the next, then you should probably have a serious conversation regarding your future, because some serious incompatibilities may emerge. Are your ambitions and dreams completely different from your lover’s, and life together implies that one of you gives up those same dreams? Then it may be a good idea to find a more fitting partner.

6. Your lover tries to “change” you

This problem can be tricky to identify as it often occurs in a very subtle manner. During a relationship, both parts grow emotionally, fostered by each other. But if one of those parts slowly tries to shape the personality of the other, then there’s a reason for alarm. It is absolutely normal for a person’s attitudes and way of living to affect a relationship, and it is up to both people to talk and try to reach a consensus. To become a totally different person a few months after you start a new relationship: that’s not just abnormal – that’s weird and worrisome.

7. You can’t stand your lover’s friends

Your lover’s friends don’t necessarily need to be your best friends. But if you can’t stand being near them, and just the idea of having to mingle with them during a group dinner makes you want to stay home, then you better start thinking about your future. People tend to befriend other people with similar characteristics and interests, so there’s a chance that the things you intensely dislike about your partner’s friends could perfectly be things he or she identifies with. Keep in mind that good and healthy friendships are forever. So you either change your attitude towards your lover’s best friends, or you change your lover.