A successful relationship doesn’t always mean a successful marriage. Marriage can bring out new problems that you never had before with your partner. It truly tests the relationship, and that’s why there are so many divorces nowadays. Whether you’re recently married or have been married for more than ten years or less, if this article caught your attention, it means that you are experiencing some marriage problems. Know that this is completely normal, and it for sure doesn’t mean you are falling out of love. However, there are certain changes you can make to create a happy and healthy relationship with your partner after tying the knot. So without any further ado, let’s hop right into it!
1. Focus on the positive side of your relationship
It’s usual for most of us to point flaws and lean towards negative emotions rather than positive ones. This normally happens because we feel the need to protect ourselves from a heartbreak, rejection, or just getting hurt in general, so we always assume the worst. Having this type of negative energy is very bad for any relationship, whether it is the relationship with a friend, family member, or, in this case, your loved one. But how can you possibly have a happy marriage if you’re filled with negative feelings?
We advise you to make an effort and try to see the positive side in every situation, problem, in your partner, but also yourself. Let’s say your partner disorganization has been stressing you out lately, why don’t you also think about how great he is at making you laugh? Our advice: Try to keep a positive notebook where you write about what you love and appreciate about your partner and your life. It will help you remember those things and focusing on them over time.
2. Social media can impact your relationship
Nowadays, social media is everywhere, and it’s easy to spend 5 hours scrolling down your phone without even realizing it. Whether your partner is also doing the same thing or not, it is still an act that affects and wastes valuable time you could be spending together. Besides this, social media is one of the main reasons for relationship arguments; people tend to assume that the other person is cheating, talking to other people, or simply prefer to be on their phone than with them. Save the phone time for whenever you’re alone and track down the time you spend on it. You can also check on your device how many hours you’re spending on each app; this could give you an insight into the time you’re wasting doing nothing.
3. Spend time with other couples
A lot of people who are happy in their marriage usually have and spend time with other married couples. Why do you think this happens? When you hang out with other couples, you’re going to have fun, but the truth is, whenever you’re with other couples, you also tend to realize that they also fight and have their problems. Sometimes you can even notice certain aspects of their behavior that you later comment with your partner and reflect on it. So by analyzing other relationships, you’re improving your own!
4. A simple hug heals everything
Interesting fact: The bonding hormone, which is called oxytocin, is released by having a simple 30-second hug with someone you love. When this hormone is released, you can’t help but feel cozy and loved, which is the point of having physical contact with your partner. Whether it is sexual intimacy or a simple hug. It’s always important to maintain a physical connection with your partner. We all know couples that don’t even hold hands or hug for years, and that’s the saddest thing that can happen in any relationship. Make physicality a habit!
5. New room new life
Did you know that a recent study found that house re-modulation can have a positive impact on any relationship? Especially older couples? If you think about it, when you move in with your partner, getting the house fixed and decorated is an exciting adventure, but years later, the excitement level drops significantly. A new bed, a new kitchen or just new paint for the walls can have a tremendous effect on your married life. Suddenly, something feels brand new, which ends up exciting you and your partner.
6. Show your love
One of the most important things long-lasting marriages do is that each person shows their love for the other person every single, day, hour, and even minute. It’s easy to take things for granted, but it’s also a common fear that after your married, love fades away. Most of the time, it doesn’t, but both people think it did. Why is that? It’s because both people stopped expressing their emotions. Making your partner feel loved and wanted is key to any healthy relationship. You can express your love with words, a spontaneous hug, or by adding candles to the dinner table. Love is one of the easiest feelings out there, you just feel it, and that’s it, so why should it be hard to show it?
7. Feedback is important
Good communication will save any marriage from sinking. This is why, one of the positive changes to make after your married, and even before, is receiving and giving feedback. Whenever you find yourself with your partner in a calm situation, like a long drive, or about to fall asleep in bed, simply say to your partner, “I’m going to give you my feedback about how I feel and what I think you could do better, and then, I want to hear your feedback.” By allowing yourself and your partner one of these “sessions” now and then, you’re also allowing yourself to change and understand their point of view.
Sometimes people only say what they truly feel in the heat of an argument, which ends up hurting the other person way more than it should. The best way to start these types of conversations is always to state the positive aspects first, followed by the negative ones. And remember to accept what the other person is saying as constructive criticism instead of a personal attack.
8. Routine is key
Most of you might think routine is boring, but if you want to know how to make your marriage last for a long time, the secret for it is keeping a routine. A routine doesn’t have to be a planned version of what your day is going to be like. A routine is always grabbing breakfast together, going to the beach every Saturday, or simply cooking a meal together. These little actions, when kept as a routine end up bringing two people closer to each other. Think of it like this, even if you’re having a bad week, you know the sunset at the beach is waiting for you, and so is your partner.
9. Always have fun!
It doesn’t matter if you’re in your 30’s or 60’s, the fun element can never lack in any marriage relationship. For some, fun times can be related to their kids; for others, it is a fancy dinner. It doesn’t matter what your definition of fun is, what matters is that you do whatever makes you happy alongside your partner.
Laughing and having fun together is the best remedy for any bad day, and it strengthens your relationship with your partner, not only your love relationship but also the relationship you have as friends. With work, bills, and kids, life can get pretty boring and stressful, so don’t prevent yourself from going to a movie night now and then or challenging your partner for a karaoke night. Life is supposed to be lived, remember that! In the end, you should always keep in mind that you married this person for a reason.
Even if the relationship feels doomed, it can still be turned around if you truly wish for it. However, wishing is not enough; both of you have to be on the same page and fight for your love. Love is easy, a marriage not so much, but at the end of the day, love always wins.