Relationships are known to go through many ups and downs, and it is always up to us to decide whether to continue or just move on. According to studies, a man’s life quality of life decreases by 42% and the woman’s by 73% after divorce.
It is the reason why no one has to make the decision of breaking up in the heat of the moment or based on a few factors that could be fixable.
Of course, there are some relationships that are difficult to be fixed due to the number of issues and heartbreaks both partners have gone through. However, the word ‘impossible’ should never be in anyone’s dictionary.
So before you make the final decision to end what once you used to believe is unbreakable, ask yourself these 7 questions and answer with complete honesty. After all, it is you who is going to deal with that decision.
1. DOES THIS RELATIONSHIP HELP BRING THE BEST OUT OF YOU?
Take a quick look at yourself (from within) and answer honestly: is this the best version of you right now? Normally, the partner is there to support you, admires and encourages you to reach for the stars and to develop yourself to be the person you truly are.
But if you feel like none of that is happening, or you feel like he is the one preventing you from following your own pace into self-discovery, then you have disconnected from each other.
2. DO YOU BOTH HAVE THE SAME PLANS AND DREAMS FOR THE FUTURE
Obviously, each person has his/her own vision for the future. For example, if you want to spend your life traveling and discovering the world, but your partner wants to be a parent to three kids and have a stable life, then you obviously have totally different visions and this may create a few conflicts.
Before giving up on this idea, try to communicate and look for common plans to minimize the arguments and find one solid solution.
3. DO YOU BOTH SPEAK TO EACH OTHER?
Your life doesn’t have to be orbiting only around your relationship because both of you have different responsibilities and interests in your own private lives. But, you still should be each other’s first priority, and communication is the key; once it is lost, you will never be able to replace it. (But it can totally be found another time!).
If you feel like you are not your partner’s number one priority and he/she is rarely interested in your life, then maybe, you deserve to be in a better relationship.
4. ARE YOU UPSET MOST OF THE TIME, OR HAPPY?
Here is the criteria that will help you take a good look at your relationship:
- If you are currently dealing with many issues in your life (inside and outside the relationship), but you still feel peaceful, warm, and comfortable by your partner’s side… Great sign!
- If you don’t have issues at all in life or with each other but you still feel unhappy, unsafe, and upset with him/her being next to you… A sign should not be ignored!
5. ARE YOU BOTH MAKING COMPROMISES?
There will be no relationship if there are no compromises because, after all, you are still 2 different people: your views and opinions will not always coincide. So if you feel like you sacrifice way too many things for your partner’s sake, then that’s not a good sign. Most of these relationships don’t last.
6. DO YOU KNOW WHY EXACTLY YOU WANT TO BREAK UP WITH THIS PERSON?
It is not always easy to formulate the real reasons for our unhappiness in our relationships, but once we talk about them out loud, we could feel awkward.
For example, I will break up with my current partner because he/she doesn’t help with house chores… It may feel right, but does it really make sense?
So before making any final decision, figure out all the reasons and see whether they are serious or can be changed with a little effort.
7. WILL YOUR LIFE BE BETTER AND HAPPIER AFTER THE BREAKUP?
Sit down and imagine your life in the next few years without your partner… How do you feel?
*Don’t think about it when you are angry or upset with them.
If you see yourself as a happy person, and capable to be a better version of yourself when you break free, then maybe you should go for it and break up.
However, don’t forget to consider stability and money because your life will drastically change afterward. Find some time to figure that out before making any decision, especially if there are kids involved.
If you see that your life will be dull and sad after the breakup and that you will miss them tremendously, then figure out ways to fix the relationship. After all, nothing is impossible and decisions based on rapid emotions are never to be taken seriously.