When it comes to dating, you can choose to take things slow or fall hard and fast.
Even though the second option may appear dangerous, a lot of people fall into it because they think everything will end well. Just like in a fairy tale, both people fall in love at first sight and live happily ever after… the thing is, that never happens.
At the end of the day, there are no dating rules, but taking it slow in a relationship is always advisable and has a lot more benefits than you might expect.
So keep reading to find out how to build a happy relationship while taking things slowly.
1. Find someone with the same priorities
Even though your partner doesn’t have to believe in the same things you do, they need to respect it. This is why it’s so important to be careful about the person you want to invest your time in. Most people lie about being respectful and patient when it comes to taking things slow. They assume it will be easy to change your mind, and when that doesn’t happen, they end up leaving you. No matter what the case might be, you should never change your beliefs and desires just because the other person asks you to or forces you to do it by using manipulation tactics.
Dating apps like tinder aren’t very advisable for someone who wants to take things slowly since most people on these apps are only looking for hookups. But if you struggle to get to know people and prefer using dating sites because you feel more comfortable, then go for it! Just remember to always tell the other person what you’re really looking for and don’t be mad if they don’t agree with it, at least you know that person is not the ideal match for you right from the start.
2. Set your physical boundaries
When talking about taking things slow, it’s not always about the emotional part, it’s also the physical one. We live in a modern world, maybe too modern, where cuddling and going on dates is considered to be more intimate than physical relations. For most people, the physical intimacy became meaningless, but for the minority, it’s something that results from a deep connection with someone else; therefore, there’s nothing wrong with figuring out if you truly have a connection before taking that step.
Learning how to communicate in a relationship is key to have a successful dating life, so always be clear from the beginning about your intentions and what you’re not comfortable with. If you don’t want to kiss on the first date, you don’t have to. If you don’t want to be touched, you won’t. And if you don’t want to be physically intimate, you should wait as long as you want to. All you need is to be explicit about it to the other person, and if they can’t handle it, don’t be with them.
3. Explore each other
Just because you want to take things slowly, that doesn’t mean you can’t still be romantic and intimate with someone else. While respecting your boundaries, you are still able to get to know the other person while doing fun activities. One of the most fun things to do when you first start dating is going on competitive dates, like bowling or amusement parks. These are the best to get to know someone and see if you have a good couple dynamic. If you want to start exploring your intimate side, a picnic date is a great idea. It allows you to talk, lay down by each other, and you can even act like you’re in a romantic movie scene, and feed grapes to each other.
4. Don’t be possessive
Sometimes you might face a dilemma. On one side, you want to respect your boundaries and take things slow, but on the other side, you freak out whenever you see your date talking to another girl. This is inconsistent. Taking things slow means you don’t want to be attached to someone too quickly, but jealousy and controlling behaviors scream the opposite. If you want your partner or romantic interest to respect you, you also have to respect them. Trust is needed in any relationship, you have to trust and be trusted to make it work. Depending on the stages of a relationship, a little bit of jealousy is normal and healthy, as long as you deep down feel safe and respected by the other person.
5. Remember what your relationship goals are
At the end of the day, what is your goal? Is it to learn to love and be loved? Is it to get married? Is it to have a family? Whenever you’re looking for the ideal partner, think about your goal first. If it helps, write it on a board or on a notepad that you carry with you. Sometimes we are attracted to the wrong people, and of course, you won’t meet the right person on the first try, but it helps to ask yourself “Is this person looking for love or not?”, “Can I picture this person adopting”, “Is this person the marrying type?” If you feel comfortable enough, ask these questions to the other person, if they are right for you, they’ll have no problem answering it as long as you don’t make it sound like a police interrogatory! We hope that by the end of this article, you feel more comfortable with your own ideas and wishes.
Unfortunately, it’s normal to be easily manipulated by other people, partners, friends, and family. The media itself is full of lies and wrong ideas about what love and dating should be. But being true to yourself is all you need to worry about. The best relationship advice we can give you, especially if you’re looking for long term relationships, is to always be honest about how you feel; otherwise, it won’t work out. Remember, taking it slow is not “outdated”, it’s your love life, and you should live it as you want.