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How To Stop Being Jealous And Controlling

Everyone has experienced a little bit of jealousy in dating life; after all, it’s a sign that you care about this person. Both men and women fear sexual and emotional infidelity, especially those who already experienced cheating partners and were left with trust issues. But can jealousy become too much? Jealousy can get out of control sometimes, causing more harm than good. A little bit of jealousy can be seen as fun and cute, but extreme jealousy can become dangerous.

So how to deal with jealousy and take control of your emotions? Stay tuned to find out.

1. Don’t act on your emotions

When it comes to jealousy, you should never act in the heat of the moment. One thing is to catch some sketchy texts from your partner to another girl. Another thing is just being suspicious about it and having no proof. First, think to yourself: Am I exaggerating? Am I overreacting? Am I just having a bad day? Can this hurt our relationship? If the answer is yes, you shouldn’t accuse your partner of anything. Never allow your emotions to control you, or you won’t be able to get your message across in a respectful, healthy way.

2. Take a deep breath and don’t be afraid to be vulnerable

You may have this coldness to you that some people perceive as selfishness or detachment, but you’re just trying to protect yourself in reality. However, you need to understand that love makes you weak and not in a bad way. It just means you need to be vulnerable or at least be open to the idea of it. No one wants to be in a relationship with a closed off person. You need to open up to the person you’re dating by expressing your feelings, fears, and desires.

3. Express your feelings calmly

Never let your emotions control your words whenever you feel jealous of something, take some time to take a deep breath, and opt by talking to your partner calmly about what’s bothering you, in a respectful adult way. Don’t jump to conclusions and don’t make a revenge plan. Instead, opt by talking to them in a way that’s light and won’t put pressure on them. Start by saying that you love them and trust them; this will make you both feel at ease before discussing serious problems.

4. Love Yourself

You can’t know how not to be jealous if you don’t have confidence in yourself. Someone with low self-esteem will always suffer from trust issues and all types of insecurities. You don’t love yourself, so you start thinking that everyone’s better than you and that your partner will leave you for someone else. First of all, if your partner didn’t think you were beautiful and a fantastic person, they wouldn’t be with you, and secondly, if you’re self-conscious and you let everyone see it, you’re just allowing them to see you as this weak person that has no self-esteem. The key here is to accept yourself as you are so that your relationships can work, between you and your partner and your friends and family. If this is a difficult task, fake it until you make it. Try to come across as confident and assertive, it’s super attractive to others, and eventually, it will sink in.

5. Heal any past wounds

The best way on how to stop being jealous is to identify the roots of the problem. Why are you a jealous person in the first place? Were you in a toxic past-relationship? Did your parents divorce due to cheating and infidelity? There are so many aspects in our past that can indicate who we become in the present. A past cheating boyfriend plus a new relationship equals trust issues. It’s only normal that we bring our past wounds to the present, but it’s also important to understand that your current partner will not make the same mistakes your ex did. It’s key that you accept new people into your life with open arms and mind; it’s the only way you can truly enjoy all the positive things a relationship has to offer.

6. Remember to trust the person you’re with

Again, don’t assume the person you’re with will harm you like other people in your past. Allow them to show how they feel about you before you jump to any conclusions. A relationship is nothing without trust; besides, trying to control your partner’s life by checking their phones, stalking, or even manipulating them is problematic and can evolve into a toxic relationship. Instead of controlling them, control yourself, remember why you’re with this person, and focus on everything right instead of the few negative things that are not worth obsessing about.

7. Remember to trust yourself

Besides trusting your partner, you should also trust yourself. Trust your decisions, trust who you are as a person, trust that whatever happens happens, and there’s no way around it. When you trust yourself, you also trust your relationship because you trust your emotions, which got you where you are right now. Life is meant to teach, therefore, we need to fall a thousand times until we learn to get back up on our feet by ourselves and push through. Don’t focus on what could hurt you because life, in general, will hurt you. The best you can do is to make sure you have the right people around you to support you when it does. Now that you know some tips on dealing with romantic jealousy, there’s one question left to answer, and that is how to respond to jealousy when it comes from the other person?

How to deal with a jealous partner is to put yourself in their shoes. What would you like to hear? How would you feel? Reassuring the other person while listening to them is the first step to take. Then, some compromises should be made. Maybe show them you’re not hiding anything by allowing them to go through your phone, or start taking more time to make your partner feel appreciated!