When talking about body language and how it can help us maintain good communication, we tend to forget about the most powerful tool we have: our eyes. You’re told to stand straight, cross your legs while sitting, maintain a good posture, and so on. But the message you’re trying to transmit by doing all of this completely falls apart if you forget about maintaining good eye contact. Making eye contact is a form of saying, “I’m here.”. It doesn’t only show that you’re listening to what the other person is saying while interacting with someone, but it also transmits self-confidence.
If you’re shy and anti-social, you probably avoid looking people in the eye, but sometimes that’s seen as a flaw, especially in jobs where you have to communicate with other people or at a date where you’re trying to impress someone. There are many situations in our daily lives where we have to use eye contact for our benefit. So let’s talk about what some of those situations are and how to have better eye contact when you see yourself in one of them.
1. You Want To Seem Professional
No matter what job you might have or wish you had, it probably requires good communication skills from their employes. If you think about it, it’s for a good reason. Communication is the most important thing in our daily lives. We use it every day with everyone. For some, communication might be easier than for others. However, when it comes to working, you have to be or at least portray to be a responsible professional person. So how to make better eye contact in work environments? When talking to your boss or colleagues about work, always look them in the eye while keeping your eyes relaxed.
Nobody wants to feel like someone is staring at them, but if they’re explaining something to you, then you should show you’re super attentive to whatever they’re saying. A good way to know if you’re doing it right is if they keep looking at you, especially at group meetings. Remember, at school, when the teacher seemed to be talking only to two or three students when the class had 20 kids? This happened because the teacher knew who was listening and who wasn’t. So a good way to know what your eye contact says about you in a conversation is noticing how the other person responds to it.
2. You Want To Flirt
Lack of eye contact is a major turn-off in the dating world. We know this may be hard to hear if you’re super shy, but you can’t seriously expect to go on a date or make someone fall in love with you without making eye contact for more than 2 seconds, right? Some people say that eyes are the door to our souls, and if that’s true, then dating is about letting the other person get to know the real you. So how to maintain eye contact while on a date? Having a relaxed, yet intriguing eye-contact is key to making the other person feel attracted to you. It doesn’t matter if it’s the first date or if you’re married to this person.
Keeping the other person intrigued is the best way you can keep the spark going. You want the other person to feel like they’re getting to know you but also feel like you have a secret. How? By your eyes! It’s very easy to tell apart blank eyes from dreamy eyes, bored eyes from intrigued eyes, and so on. If you like someone, look at them like you’re trying to tell them that you like them without actually saying it out loud, you might not notice how your eyes might change, but the other person will be able to tell for sure. And if you’re going for the kiss or want to be kissed, glancing at their lips and then their eyes is the clearest message you could ever send.
3. You Want To Scare Someone
Want to scare someone off without having to resort to verbal communication? Eye contact might save you! We’re not talking about the “dirty look” you might want to give to a random girl that looks at you sideways on the street. We’re talking about serious situations where you might feel threatened by someone.
Women have been cat-called all their lives. It doesn’t matter how they dress or where they go. Most of them have felt fear or threatened by a man while in public every single day! Even though a lot of men don’t try anything, you never know what they might do. If you appear to be a reserved person with a lack of self-confidence, you’ll be an easier target.
Predators don’t like to feel threatened, so even if you’re scared to death, making eye contact while walking past someone sketchy or looking directly into their eyes when someone keeps harassing you while you’re shopping or working out might be what saves your life! You can show how bad-ass and fearless you are just by a stare, even if you’re shaking inside.
4. You Want To Appear More Confident
If you want to attract good things, you have to feel them first. And how will you feel good and happy if you suffer from low self-esteem? Working your eyes is the best way to appear confident even in non-verbal communication. Let’s say you’re walking somewhere, on a normal day, you’d fade in into the crowd. You could be wearing the most amazing outfit, the best makeup, and hair, but if you keep your head down, it’s like you’re not there.
Now let’s make a different scenario. This time, you’re looking forward, you’re not looking at people, not looking at your phone, not even at the shop windows, you’re just looking forward. Even though you’re not making eye contact with anyone, you’re still showing you’re not afraid to look at them if you need to. The craziest part is that you’ll be attracting more attention to yourself, even if you’re not wearing makeup and a basic outfit.
Now that you have learned how to establish eye contact in different situations keep in mind that what eye contact says about your personality depends on what you let it say. You can be shy and still be able to appear sociable and powerful just by using your eyes. Even if you don’t feel confident, fake it until you make it. After a while, eye contact will come effortlessly and naturally that you won’t even have to think about it!