You must be wondering why do we need relationship goals. Popular wisdom says that “love is blind” because when we are in love with someone, we fail to realize their defects and the possible critical points of a relationship with that person. In fact, passion is an important emotion, but it always decreases or goes away after a while. And what remains in its place? Every love relationship has a unique history and its own dynamics and rituals. This is even one of the factors that make getting involved with someone interesting and thought-provoking. But while these relationships offer freedom similar to that of a blank canvas about to be painted, some relationship goals would do any of us good.
1. Sincere dialogue
If you are in doubt about how to set goals in a relationship, consider talking honestly as the first step. Aligning expectations is one of the main practices of healthy relationships. This way, everyone involved can better understand how much to give. Sincere dialogue is one of the main pillars of trust is sincere dialogue. This means not only that you are sure that you are comfortable enough to tell the truth, but that your partner fully trusts your words. Credibility is not built overnight, so this is a practice that should become a culture.
2. Respect for individuality
Who has never felt their privacy being invaded, or on the contrary, admits that they have taken the space of the other far beyond what they should have? Confusing your life with that of your partner and placing your love relationship above good and evil is not a positive sign. One of the relationship goals is to know how to clearly define what is yours, what is his, and what is yours. That goes for time, space, and resources. Reflect on what is important to you regardless of the person who is with you.
3. Shared happiness
In general, toxic or unhealthy relationships pull you down and are surrounded by exaggerated jealousy. In a healthy relationship, it is the exact opposite: you hope for the happiness of the other. You shouldn’t be with someone out of necessity but by your conscious choice and that person’s, of course. To be able to live happily with someone, you must be well with yourself. You’re probably already thinking: So are relationship goals really about me too? The answer is yes.
4. Take care of yourself and your partner
It’s not loving that sustains the relationship; it is the way of relating that sustains love. Have you heard that phrase? It is not a cliché by accident, and it masterfully sums up the correlation between feelings and relationships. Understand this as a posture not just to have with your partner, but with yourself. Relationship goals involve habits and routines, which is why they are so associated with the process of growing flowers and plants. There is no point in a bed of roses if the next one is a swamp, right?
5. Balance in dedication
Balance is a watchword always to be taken into account when you think about relationship goals. It doesn’t mean that you should take a ruler to strictly measure how much each of you gives to the relationship, but to feel that how much you give yourself is close to how much the other is dedicated. After all, if one gives much more than the other, it’s probably a one-sided relationship, so that you aren’t in a healthy relationship. The lack of reciprocity is easily perceived and causes discomfort on both sides of the scale.
6. Reciprocal admiration
When you ask what are relationship goals, many people answer that point first. This is because admiration and attraction are two sides of the same coin in loving relationships. Even after a few years, admiration acts as real oxygen in happy relationships. Admiration is that feeling that fascinates you in someone, something that makes you feel a giant pride for being with a certain person. It can be caused by a way of behaving or performance in the profession, for example.
7. Do not idealize the other
Consider the two sides of the coin. Again, a scale that tilts to one side is only harmful to cultivate a relationship. To admire your partner too much can mean idealization, a psychic process by which the object’s qualities and value are associated with perfection. Accepting the other as he is, also in his defects, is the key to be able to dialogue with him in another way. For this, exercising listening and maintaining dialogue is one of the most important relationship goals.
8. Common projects
We have already talked about the importance of each other’s space, but of course, it would not make sense to be in a loving relationship if there are no shared projects. Right? Having points in common are one of the relationship goals because it strengthens the harmony between you. This does not mean that you are strictly the same. Differences are always welcome, as long as they are respected and viewed as wealth by both. Contact with another point of view not only enriches our cultural repertoire but also promotes our growth as people.
9. Continuous learning
Loving relationships can mean intense frustrations from time to time, but they are always rich sources of learning – about people and you. The person with whom we relate can be a mirror. What bothers us about it is what we have inside us, and we don’t appreciate it. As you reflect on what your relationship goals are, you may have noticed that they are intersectional with your own life. In fact, if you adopt this 9-point series to your own life, achieving a healthy relationship will be almost natural. Being together is to add, never to subtract. Are we agreed?